Music Review - Almost Human, Voltaire

Today I review one of my favorite albums - “Almost Human,” by the delightfully twisted singer Voltaire.

I discovered the goth singer Voltaire back when MP3.com was alive and still streaming with a little ditty called “When You’re Evil” off The Devil’s Bris, and I laughed out loud.  A song about one of the devil’s little helpers who truly loves his job of making your life Hell (literally) grabbed my attention, and Voltaire’s music has held it ever since.

I’ll review The Devil’s Bris another time - today I’d like to introduce you to another of his albums - Almost Human.

Voltaire plays a sound that made someone I knew describe the music as “a goth Frank Sinatra”, which is a weird mix of aural impressions to say the least.  But Voltaire, backed by violin, cello, drums, bass, and occasionally another guitar besides his own, still manages to sing songs that make you think.  And that’s high praise indeed in the current lowest-common-denominator musical climate.

By far the best song on this album is “God Thinks.” In it, Voltaire sings about how God isn’t liberal or conservative, Democrat or Republican, how God simultaneously wants us to be Jews, Christians, Muslims, and Hindus, and how “God thinks all people like you are an embarassment to creation - self-righteous, judgemental, first to throw the stone - and use His name for your own protection.” As far as condemnations of using religion go, this is up there with Depeche Mode’s “Personal Jesus” from Violator and “Blasphemous Rumors” from Some Great Reward or Genesis’ “Jesus He Knows Me” from We Can’t Dance.  Great stuff if you’re as cynical about organized religion as I am.

But “God Thinks” isn’t the only great song.  Far from it, in fact.

“Anastasia” puts the singer in the part of someone obsessed with the disappearance of a girl named Anastasia.  Whether the singer is supposed to be Rasputin or one of the Bolsheviks who executed the Romanov family or someone entirely different harking back to Anastasia Romanov is left entirely up to the listener.

Many of the songs address relationships of one kind or another.  “Out of Reach” talks about a relationship where both people involved are going out of their way to hurt the other, and it’s not a pretty sight.  “Dunce” is about a guy (who may or may not be Voltaire himself) who regularly opens his mouth and speaks before thinking, and hurts people he cares about in the process.  On the other hand, “Dead Girls” talks about a relationship of an entirely different kind.  Never before have I heard necrophilia described in such an amusing fashion.

And then there is “Feathery Wings,” a song about a generally apathetic angle (think the guardian angel from It’s A Wonderful Life but add a strong dose of “I don’t care if you jump off the bridge.  It’ll just be more work for me if you don’t").  Throw “Almost Human,” a song about how depressed the devil is about being thrown out of heaven because he’s “almost” human and almost isn’t good enough, into the mix and you’ve got a great album.

Voltaire isn’t for everyone.  You have to have an appreciation for twisted lyrics, black humor, crappy relationships, and having the screwed up world we live in thrust into your face, and all of the above served on a plate with gypsy violin playing accompaniment.  It’s goth, but of a decidedly non-Bella Morte/Cruxshadows/Cure/Collide variety.  But if you have the necessary appreciation, or think you might, “Almost Human” is a great starting point to get sucked into Voltaire’s unique world.